Chapter 1: Living for You: Escaping The Trap of Validation

Chapter 1:  Living for You: Escaping The Trap of Validation

Have you ever felt like you're living someone else's life? That you’re living as you are told to—perhaps your dreams and passions have been compromised to make room for the needs of others. 

It's a common experience, one that often leaves us feeling lost and disconnected from our true selves. This realization struck me when my closest friend, Sarah, shared some of her struggles. Her struggles and strategies inspired me and helped me out in many different aspects of life. I would like to share some parts of her life.

The Beginning

Imagine a little girl, Sarah, standing amidst her siblings and cousins, feeling like a shadow in their light. Average-looking and constantly judged for her appearance, Sarah's self-esteem faded away bit by bit. The hurtful comments from those around her became a broken record in her mind, playing on repeat and shaping her beliefs about herself. She started losing herself, feeling like she was walking through a dense forest, each step filled with self-doubt and fear. She lost all her decision-making powers, thinking ability, and her existence just because someone told her that she was different and could not fit in their circle.

The Turning Point 

But every forest has a clearing. Things changed when she got a chance to study life. She spent some time in nature. She took morning walks, meditated, and with the help of some self-help books based on the conscious and subconscious mind, her thoughts changed for the better. 

The Power of the Subconscious Mind 

With the guidance of self-help books, Sarah began to understand the incredible power of her subconscious mind. These books were like illuminating the path to her inner self. She learned that her thoughts shaped her day-to-day decisions and overall life. This realization was transformative, allowing her to rewrite her story.

Strategies for Transformation

Sarah's journey wasn't just about knowledge; it was about action. She developed strategies to navigate the difficult moments, turning her insights into practical steps. One of the most powerful lessons she taught me was the importance of a single thought. It all starts with a single, positive thought, and the rest unfolds from there. 

My Journey: From Understanding to Practice

The most important strategy I learned from her is that it all starts with a single thought and the rest depends on you. Then I started to dig deeper. Initially, it was very hard to understand such concepts but after some practice (exercises like meditation, positive affirmations and most importantly gratitude) my attitude towards life has completely shifted. These practices helped me to connect with myself and helped me to make better decisions.

Strategy: Connect With Yourself

A single thought either imposed by others or by ourselves turns into reality if we start believing in it. We get distracted by some meaningless beliefs because we are not connected with ourselves. It happens because we are so busy making meaningless compromises for others just for the sake of external validation. We usually make compromises by assuming that compromise is the only solution. Too often we try to fit into circles that don’t help us. It's important to recognize that compromise is not the only solution, and it can lead to a dark place where you will find little to no support.   If you keep compromising, after a while,  you’ll realize there’s nothing left for you. you realize it's too late. To pull yourself out of such a situation, you have to adopt a strategy.

Where there is a will, there's a way. To move forward, accept what happened in your life in the past and just start planting new seeds based on your new mindset. Start doing things that make you feel you, that connect you to you. Think with your mind, make choices for yourself, connect with what you are passionate about, learn how to fight for yourself, and make a difference by pulling others out of the darkness.

Sarah's story is a reminder that no matter how deeply ingrained our negative beliefs are, they can be challenged and transformed. As you navigate your own mental health journey, remember that you are not alone. There is a community here at Mindful Notes ready to support and uplift you. Together, we can break the stigma surrounding mental health and empower each other to live authentically. 

The goal is to be the light for you and others.